Yuffie loves Crazy
by HuGaBblesEaL
Summary: YUFFENTINE stuck in the pagoda with nothing to do, yuffie decides that she will stick with vincent to try and brighten up his life, perhaps something else will happen aswell... DO NOT OWN FF7
1. Yuffie's plan

Yuffie POV

Urh, meditate, I HATE meditating. Soooooooooooo booorrriiiiiiing. Why am I here again? Oh yeah! Right, dying the whole towns undies pink. Nyuck nyuck nyuck, pretty funny actually. I mean come on! Could have been worse, could have been me! NYUCK NYUCK NYUCK!! I am so good, I could get away with murder! Okay so what, I was caught during my getaway! I slipped on a puddle in the laundry room, knocked myself unconscious with the bottle of pink die still in my hand! Could've happened to anybody!

_Seriously!! I should find something to occupy my time, I've only been here 5 of my 12 hour punishment. Okay what is my favorite color? GREEN!!!! What do I like to wear? GREEN TANKTOP!!! What do I like most about nature? TUNS AND TUNS OF GREEN!!!!! Hum… I'm not going to get very far with this. Why don't I slip out the window? Oh! Right! Chekhov is watching me! DARN YOU CHEKHOV!!! DARN YOU ALL TO HECK!!!! Okay well I successfully got to kill two minutes of my time! Genius! Why? Why me? Hang on a sec I'm the GREAT NINJA YUFFIE!!!!!!! And the GREAT NINJA YUFFIE DOES NOT WHINE!!! Now back to killing time. What do I like? GREE… wait let's try to find some variety. VINCENT!!! Crap! Dead giveaway! Ummm… reddylicious eyeballs. Yummy!! Ack! Come on! This is Vincent we are talking about. Let's make a list of things Yuffie thinks about Vinnie! (great I'm talking in third person now, brilliant!) _

_-Vamp wannabe_

_-In luv with a dead woman (or is she?)_

_-Has yummy reddy eyes (how'd that get there?)_

_-Weirs a big dark red cloak that screams DRACULA!!!_

_-Long pwetty dawrk hairw (is that manly?)_

_-Has a coo' gun tha'd could blow my head off_

_-Has pearly white skin (VAMP!!! DRACULA!!!!!BLOOD SUCKER!!!)_

_-A deathly glare that could take your breath away (awww…)_

_Umm… I'm not sure if this is good or bad. I wish I had my rubber ducky. (where'd that come from?) OOOOOO__ooo__ooooooo… look I got two hours left! HURRAH!!!!!_

_WHO DA MAN??!!!! WHO DA MAN??!!!!!!! I DA MAN!!!!!!! Lalalalalala America! Lalalalala America! Lalalalalala … … ummmmm (I won't even go there!) Well I seriously got to kill time somehow (somewhere, out there, beneath the pearl light!)_

_sight…………….. ONE MORE TIME… sight. I think I'll go visit Cloudy and Teef after this. I can't believe I wasn't even the bride's maid at their wedding. Guess who was? I won't let you guess cuz you'll never answer you stupid brain so I'll tell you.(I don't care I you register all I know and tell my limbs what to do you're still stupid!) _

_It was Aeris. Seriously! They had a picture of her sitting on the table, with a sign hanging off it that read "bride's maid". TALK ABOUT CREEPY MAN!!! YUCKY!!! GROSSNESS!! (nothing personal Rissy, luv ya but you're dead) Anyhoo! I was thinking (I know is that cool or what) maybe I could go visit Vinnie too!_


	2. Yuffie's plan gone wrong

Disclaimer: I do NOT own ff7 thankyou very much, now if you don't mind I have wome writing to do.

Yuffie POV 

AH HA! Stealing a chocobo wasn't sooo hard. And I din;t even get caught. Well, not ofr long. Don't worry, bumps heal. Now if I can get this stupid chocobo to move that would be nice. Grrr " Yah, dumb animal! Why don't you do as you're told!" and with saying this I will now stab you in the butt with my shuriken. Ready? Aim? FIRE!!!!

Normal POV 

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Screamed our dear ninja, while she was clinging for dear life to the reigns. She whipped left and right, not with a whip, but with her body.

"YYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!! LEFT! **LEEEEEEEFT! LEFT YOU STUPID PIECE OF-" **The chocobo pulled to a halt before Yuffie's curses would put the rating to this story a little higher. The sudden halt sent Yuffie soaring over it's head and right into a gigantic puddle of mud.

Vincent's POV 

I was trying to get some rest that I haven't been able to catch up with for the last few days, when I heard a stream of curses that I would expect Cid's to say when he stubs his toes. I put out my camp fire, and head up the small hill from which I heard the series of profanities. What I saw did not surprise me at all. I saw a mud covered Yuffie aiming her shuriken at a chocobo that was quickly fading in the distance. " That right!" I heard her scream. "'Cause you know what's waiting for you if you come back!" Then she started to run after it, but only succeeded in slipping and landing face first in the mud again.

Yuffie POV 

Cold! Man this mud is FREEZING!!! Oh GAWSH! Am I so glad no one is around or I would die of embarrassment. Uh oh! I think I hear someone clearing their voice. I look up and die of embarrassment. Standing right there, staring at the mud covered face of mine.

Is Vince.

_Dunh! Dunh! Duuuuuuuuuuuunh! What a surprise! NOT there you go! Enjoy. (how can you enjoy it already finished? I don't make sense. I'll update soon promise!_


	3. It's the plan's fault

_A/N: Hiello dear readers that NEVER review. Since this is the story that most people seem to read, I am updating this so that you won't have to wait TWO WHOLE MONTHS before I update. Ain't I considerate? I know I know. I am only human do I deserve such praise? After all you ARE all bowing before me. lol (I'm pulling a Mathieu, that part was for you mathieu) Ok now on with the story._

_DISCLAIMER: once again do not own ff7, good thing too. I probably would have screwed up the game._

Vincent POV 

From what I could make out of her face, that is whatever wasn't mud covered, turned a very deep shade of red.

"Hi." She managed to squeak out. "H-" "how long were you standing there?" she asked hoarsely.

"Long enough." I replied.

Yuffie POV 

Good GAWSH! Could I look any crappier? Why? Why me? What to do? What to do? Um… um… um…

"Hi." I managed to squeak out. Now what? Um… um… um… "H-" great, what a perfect time to lose my voice. "How long were you standing there?" I could stand him hearing me scream, but slipping pathetically, well that's just sad. I could just see it now. Ten years form now. I'm married, me and Vincent have a little girl, and like all little girls she ask her dad a question. _"Daddy, when did you first realize you loved mommy?"_ the Vincent would answer _"When I saw her yelling manically at a chocobo then slip pathetically in mud."_ Oh boy! How romantic!

"Long enough." He answered his low voice.

_Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I would make it longer but you dogone peep don't leave reviews! Therefore equals: NO IDEAS!!!! Anyhoo there you go. See you guys in two months. _


	4. Blancket and Cocoa

A/N: Since everyone since to like this story of mine most, I will continue to update it this summer and beyond. Lol the others just aren't flowing. Anyhoo here you go, read on review on and ROCK ON!!!! But you can only rock on if you review on, see preveleges are reserved! Heh heh heh! 

Disclaimer: I do NOT own ff7, I repeat I do NOT own ff7, or mars either for that matter

Yuffie's POV 

_Wooowie! Look at me! Sittin' by a campfire with a blanket around my shoulders, and a nice hot steaming mug of cocoa in my hands. After being dunked in mud by that stupid bird, this? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh……… this is life! … well, at least I think this is cocoa, now that I think of it, this stuff doesn't look much like cocoa_.sniff_ Yuck! Doesn't even SMELL like cocoa, and it shure as heck doesn't __**TASTE**__ like cocoa! What did Vincent give me, _GASP_ poison! It was his plan all along. _HACK! GAG!! **KOFF!!!!!!**

"M-Must survive. wheeze"_ I try to say I a scratchy voice._

_I guess I'm getting a little wrapped up in my act cuz I'm kinda finding myself on the ground coughing and wheezing. Uh oh! I hear crunching grass behind me (A/N: does grass even crunch? Please forgive the lack of imagination.)_

_Oh! Please! Dear Leviathan! Let it not be who I think it is!_

"**What, **_**are**_** you doing?"**_ Yep that's Vincent, now my life is officially over, contract signed and all._

_I hold up the mug which still has all its contents, which is funny when you think about it, cuz I am lying on the ground and I hadn't spilt anything, must be my awesome ninja skills! Ack! Must come back to reality! Okay, what is happening at this moment, I am on the ground in an awkward position holding up a mug of poison and Vincent is looking at me like I'm some sort of hobo from mars! (A/N: do they even KNOW about mars? __Ho la la, je fais vraiment dur!) __Which is okay now that i think of it, cuz if I were Vincent right now, I would think I'm a hobo from mars too. Oh! Right! I must 'reply' to Vinny's question._

"I-it's p-poison!" _I say with desperation, WOAW I'm surprised that word.s in my vocabulary!_

"**It's coffee."** _He said in a tone as if I was some retarded two year old, which I was kinda feeling like right now, just… minus the whole, two year old thing._

"Oh…….., um so, what did you get? … wait. One second thought I don't even what to know." _What if it was something icky and I would totally hurl it back up if I knew what it was._

"**Wise, course of action."** _'wise course of action'? did he just say wise course of action?!_

"Did you just say 'wise course of action'?" _I say hardly believing my ears._

"**I believe it it what I have spoken." **

_Oh! Come on Vinny! Who talks that way anymore!_

"Oh! Come on Vinny! Who talks that way anymore!" _Come on he's starting to sound like some old granpa!_

"I belive I have" 

"Well you don't count!"

"Why not?" 

"We-ell," _uh,oh! Brain freeze! And this time I can't blame it on the ice cream!_ " cuz… um… anyways that's beside the point, you're starting to sound like some old granpa! And next thing we know you'll go all wacko on us, an you'll wear some torn up jump suit written 'GEEZER' all over it!!!!" _I did ramble a bit but I'm proud to say a stayed on the topic! _

" … **I think I'll take that blanket back now."**

_Uh oh! FART BUCKETS! It's freezing out, what do I do? No way in heck i.m apologizing. __Um, um, um, um, um, um, um,_ _um_...

"………….. Vinny, did I ever tell you what a wonderful veriety of a vocabulary you have? And the fact that I think the world would be so much better off if everyone spoke just like you?"

Sucking up, my final resort. 

A/N: et voila! I hope you enjoy until I can think of a concrete story line, I'll have a few more of these going nowhere chappies.


	5. Yuffie's got a problem

Hello dear readers/reviewers, I am writing today's chappy. FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You may thank olivia's review for that.

_Anyhoo, before I bore you with my lifes story, I'll just get things going_

_DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own final fantasy 7, coffee (forgot to mention that in the last chap lol ) planes, 7-up, earphones, vomit (remind me to kill whoever invented that) or william shatner's lines in get a life. Thank you_

_And now lets get this show on the road!_

Yuffie POV 

A lot of people really love to fly. Kids, adults, old people. These people come in all shapes and sizes, they can be found sitting comfortably in their seats, buckled securily, contently sipping their plastic cups of 7-up.

These people, make me SICK! And I would like to personaly SMACK each and every single one of them IN THE **HEAD!!!!**

I **hate FLYING!** The boredom, the irrational fatigue, the stupid little air conditioning jets that BLAST you from sweltering hot to FREEZING all in under five seconds. The midget pillows, tiny blankets, the flatulent FAT guy tha always seems to sit next to ME! The 55 chance of plumetting to the earth in a SCREAMING ball of FIRE! The nausea, the vomiting, you name it, I HATE it.

I am by no means flying material.

You might wonder why I'm in a plane on my way from Junon to Nibleheilm. Big story, got a message from a messenger chocobo when Vinny and me were on our little escapade in the hills. Turns out Tifa is pregnant, 9 months and could get into labor any minute, and she want me over there. AND SHE NEVER TOLD ME SHE WAS PREGNANT DOGONE IT!!!!!!!!!! huffing and puffing Grrr…. Anyhoo, Vince is tagging along cuz he says that if something goes wrong he could help. Hey! I'm not complaining. Heh heh heh!

Yeah, so that's all. Thanks to Vinny here, I'm sitting next to the flatulent fat guy, cuz he was so out of breath after climbing the MOVING stairs into the plane Vinny gave him his seat cuz it was closer to the door. So now he's sitting in the row in front of me, next to the window. I hope some old granny sits next to him and drools on his shoulder. He deserves it! That stupid son of a white necked vamp. Oooooooh I'll get him one of these days, just watch, It'll be dark, he'll be all alone and I'll-HUH??????

Oh no. There's a girl that just walked in, and she seems to have caught Vincent's attention immediately. Well I can see why I guess. She has the long wavy chesnut hair I've always wanted. They're tied up in a loose ponytail so a few locks came out of it. She has clear emerald eyes, nice smile, high cheekbones. She seems very friendly, and I think I would like to be friends with her if it wasn't for the fact that VINCENT IS STARING AT HER. Huh? Eye contact, Vincent's looking away. AW CRAP!!!!!! This is NOT good. Uh-oh. She sees the empty seat next to Vinny, she's walking up to him.

" _**Excuse me, is this seat taken?" **_She asks cutely, I'm dreading every minute of this.

" **No."**

" _**Do you- would you mind if I sit here?"**_

" **I do not see any reason why you could not."**

She now flashes him something I hate to call a gorgeous smile. And sits down.

" _**I'm Vanessa Volley."**_

" Vincent Valentine" 

" _**Hey, cool! V Vs, what a coincedence!"**_

You bet girl! Cuz it sure as heck ain't destiny! I got a problem and **it's** called **Vanessa!**

_Dun! Dunnn! Duunnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!! __Oh! NO! Looks like Yuffie's got some competetion._

_You like? You hate? You got suggestions?YOU REVIEW!!! Lol_

_Thanks for readin'_


	6. Life threatening

DISCLAIMER : i do not own ff7, if i did yuffie woul be OFFICIALY with vincent. And cloud would hate tifa. And aeris would be alive and married to cloud. And lucretia would be tortured by yuffie HAHAHAHHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_WARNING: BEWARE! MAY BE SOME BASHING OD A SUPER FAT PERSON, I MEAN LIKE A THREE SEATER (if you catch my drift) you were warned so don't feel bad, I love everybody._

_For the record, I don't hate tifa or lucretia, I just dislike them_

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. By the way if you like my story, I think you'd enjoy the anime I'm reading called Skip Beat. It's reely funny and cool, you'll like.

Normal POV 

Yuffie was too buisy growling at her new competition to notice the flatulent fat guy was on a roll with his farts. People started to complain and he was politely asked by the hostess to go to the restroom. He tried to get up and when he did he was so bent over his butt was nearly in Yuffie's face. Yuffie was just begenning to now pay attention to her surroundings, but it was already too late.

Yuffie POV 

Air. I. NEED.** AIR!**

"MP GH NMI RIMMAZRKN – NMMI – **RRMPHHN!!!!!!!**"

Translation: Someone get his butt OFF MY **FACE!!!!!!!!!!**

**PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA LIVE!!!!!!!!!!**

Oh! I feel him lifting off of me, Vinnie must have saved me!

Normal POV 

"**AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY FACE!!!!!!!!!!! MT BEAUTIFUL FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**

I hope I haven't been damaged. What is that guy? Some sort of **mass** murderer. But I can feel someone grab my arm and hoist me up. It must be Vinnie.

"Get up ya nut!"

OOOOOOooooookay. That defenitaly was not Vincent.

"Look kid, if you don't get up now, you'll be facing the dark side of the moon again.!"

Catching the drift I get up, but still refuse to open my eyes. I dunno they must have fused shut under the pressure.

I heard a big thump behind me. Oh! I get it! They were holding up the fat guy just enough so could roll out and then dropped him again. O creek my eyes open an inch.

"You know, you **can** open your eyes! I dunno it's just a suggestion, you kinda tend to see the world better."

Ticked off, I open my eyes to glare at whoever **dared** insult me.

"Well its not MY fault that some freaky fa-oh. Not you."

Of all people to be my savior, why did it have to be him.

"If ya called me Reno, like every one else, I think we could get along just fine."

"Yuffie."

I turned to my supposed to be savior. Vincent

"Are you faring well."

"Am I faring well? AM I FARING WELL????!!!!!!! I WAS NEARLY CRUSHED TO DEATH!!!! NEARLY VINCENT!!! I COULD HAVE DIED!!!!!!

"In reality, the chances of suffocating were higher than that of being crushed. And the chances were not all that high to begin with."

Normal POV 

If you were sitting at the complete back of the plane, you could see several persons trying to remove an extremely fat guy. And you could see a you shinobi anime strangling a man (anime style) dressed in red, and a Turk with fiery red hair sweat dropping. (anime style) But of course you are not sitting in the front of that plane, so we didn't see anything

Sorry for the long excessively boring chap but I gotta move things along, can't always be funny.


	7. yuffie movie

_A/N: now that it has taken me an eternity to continue this story, a shall._

_I gonna do my best to write this up before I lose the 'yuffie mood'. Even then a might not make it. The horror!_

DISCLAIMER: Do NOT own ff7 or dirge of cerberus either. Thanks you bunch of bummers for reminding me!

Yuffie POV 

Grrr. That stupid blood-sucking vamp. Betcha there isn't one ounce of sympathy in that empty head of his! Though now that I think of it, he has a nice looking face… nice eyes…. SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!!!!!!! What am I? Some sort of man worshipper?!!!! Oy!

Thanks Vinny. No really! Thanks to you and your bright ideas. I was nearly killed by a fat man, and now I'm stuck next to Reno! And his freaky tattooed faced (the red lines under his eyes) although he has a pwetty good lookin' face! AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! HELP I'VE GONE MAD!!!!!! THE LOSS OF OXYGEN IS GETTING TO MY HEAD!!!

Reno POV 

Well so much for my complaining to Reeve for sending me here without Rude. I wanted him to come cuz he can make any situation look positive. Since the whole fat appalling dude, things are now getting… interesting.

Great now I'm sitting next to that kunoichi girl now. And she's acting really weird right now. She's staring at me wide eyed leaning as far away from me as she can.

"Look, kid. I don't have some sort of disease." She still hasn't moved, not a muscle.

"What? Can't take your eyes away from my hot bod?" I said. It took her a second to process the information. She blinked. Frowned, and her face turned to full out disgust.

"What? Eeewww no! You sicko!!! You??? GROSSNESS!!!!!!!! Don't make me puke!"

"… okay… alright… don't over do it." I said defensively. I was just to wake her up.

Yuffie POV 

Grumble, grumble. Can't take my eyes off his hot bod-I mean come on! That stuck-up! pPiece-a-lousy! … oooooo… look each seat has a mini TV! Cooliooo!!! Let's see what on cable.

_(tv channels) "And I just looked into his big juicy blues eyes, and knew, it was lo--"_

Good grief, I AM trying to distract myself here! Dump soap operas! Now how do you switch channels on this stupid piece of cr-Ah! Here we go!

_(channel change) "Say it! You love me! The moment I looked into your eyes I saw--"_

…

_(channel change) "WHY?!!!! I thought you loved me!' (deep manly voice) 'Yes! I do love you!' (girl voice again) "Then why were you with her? Why wer--"_

…

(channel change) "We could never be!"

…

(channel change) "I SAW YOU!!! I SAW YOU WITH HER!!"

…. twitch twitch

_(channel change, channel change, CHANNEL CHANGE!)_

"_**TONIGHT! WE DINE!! IN HEEELLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!**__"_

"YES!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!" something off the topic!

Reno leaned over to check my screen. "You're watching 300?"

"What? Think a girl can't see an action movie?" What, does he think every girl digs chick-flicks?

"Have you ever seen 300 before?" he asked with a sarcastic look.

"Well--n--the thing is--… I am now."

"okay…"

_8 minutes later_

O. My. GAWD. Puke bags. Someone please.

A/N: and there you go! You like? Tell me if I should involve reno. Don't worry I'll mention vv next chap!


	8. yuffie pukie

A/N : sorry for not updating in such a long time so now you got three in a row. A just read Birthday Presents by … something mistress… and it had a whole lot of fluffyness… so I .wanted to put some. Hopefully I'll make it….

_DISCLAIMER: dot not own dirge of Cerberus. Or ff7. OKAY????!!!! Thanks for rubbing it in… sniff sniff…._

_Oh! By the way the plane took off and they're in the air, which mean…. rubbing hands together in an evil manner heh heh heh MOTION SICKNESS!!!!!!! Poor yuffie._

Yuffie POV 

Oh GAWD!!!!! I don't think I've ever puked so much in my entire LIFE! Well there was that time Cid made me ride the Shera to MAKE me go SEE Shera for so called council on how to marry Shera . _(A/N: Too many sheras in this line:lol:) _OH! Like I have SO much experience. HE just ended up cursing out the proposal instead of asking anyways! I mean like… uh oh… urg … here I go again. ……… gurk… I hate the taste of bile. I wish Vinnie were rubbing my back like he did last time I was on The Shera. It was so sweet of him.

Vincent POV 

Since the plane started up I do not think Yuffie has stopped hurling. I have a few tranquilizers, but I do not wish to ask if she wants any for fear she might vomit on my face.

I know that the miss Volley has changed to a tone of green from hearing all the… **background** noises. Not to mention that a foul smell has made its way all the way up my nostrils.

"Does she **have** to sit **behind** us when she's puking." Complained Vanessa, as she tossed her chestnut locks behind her shoulder.

I could hear shuffling behind me after Vanessa's comment.

"Well… urg… then… maybe you'd rather it in stereo."

Yuffie POV 

"Does she **have** to sit **behind** us when she's puking."

What-urg, what?! Why, that two faced she dog! That B-witch! No sympathy for me at all.

Well if she thinks she can sit next to MY Vinnie and say things like THAT about me. She can forget it!

Now if I can get up without hurling again, so I can go give a nice butt whippin' .

Okay so far so good, now for a good come back to that &$# comment of hers. I gotta stop visiting Cid and Shera, the old man's rubbin' off a me.

"Well… urg… then… maybe you'd rather it in stereo." Oooo nice one Yuffie girl.

She whipped her head toward me, and a look out shock, then disgust crossed her face.

"Eww, what do you want? And don't puke on me!" She said, giving me the traditional up and down look.

GRR….. okay… calm Yuffie… let's show Valentine who's the real lady.

"Urg… would you mind exchanging spots with me?" Perfect Yuffie polite and timide.

"Uh… no! why?"

Anger slowly building up I growled. "Because Valentine knows how to make me feel better! And I'm sure he has tranquilizers!"

Oops! Lost the timide touch but at least she's moving.

Normal POV 

If this had been a comic strip, one would see lightning cracking through the air. The hate and rivalry between to two women had been set. Vanessa glared and the shinobi, and she glared right back. War had been declared.

Yuffie POV 

Uuhh. No more puking. Thank GAWD! If it weren't for Vincent slowly rubbing in circles my lower back, and the tranquilizers. I'd be completely juice sapped. Of course I'm leaning with my forehead against the window, it'd be kinda hard to Vinnie to be rubbing my back with my sitting back, that'd be awkward.

"Are you feeling better?" Vincent prompted. I nodded, feeling that all my every had gone out with my lunch.

"A little tired though." I muttered. Staring out at cloud kinda made have this dreamy feeling. It was really nice and made me even sleepier. I felt my eyes drooping. When Vincent stopped rubbing my back and I schooched up next to him I cuddled his arm as if it were some comfy pillow. And slowly drifted off of Dreamland, which basically held plushie and chibi dolls of Vincent. I was almost into dreamland when I shivered from those stupid A.C jets. And Vincent pulled his red cloak over me. My last though was on how a could die clouds hair pink when we got to Kalm.

A/N!yay! so there you go! I hope it was fluffy, although I could use a lot of practice, it hard to make a mooshy scene with a guy as hard as rock that hasn't been softened up yet.

_By the way did I say Junon (whatever) or Kalm? Aw heck change it to Kalm it a calmer place to grow up kids don't ch'a think? wink _

_Plz review and give ideas of fluffyness or tell me what you like so I can put more of it!_


	9. Birthie baby

_A/N: yeah so I just read over the whole story and realized how many mistakes I've made. It's not that I can't spell it's just that, I make mistakes by thinking I typed a letter when in reality I typed the letter right next to it! Or if I isn't that, I just suck at spelling._

Ideas: should I include lucrecia in this? I'm not sure. Now I will mention some questions I want you guys to think about (why? Do you ask? For the heck of it!)

- What on earth does miss VV have to do in this plot?  
- will Vincent be OOC forever? (or is it a little too late for that)  
- will I be able to get vincent's character back?( I surely hope so)  
- Why on EARTH is Reno on the plane?  
- does Vincent like Vanessa?  
- Do I hate the name Vanessa? (actually I like it, it's just I couldn't think of any other girl name that started with a V at the time.  
- Am I ever going to get on with this chappie (I think I will)

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own ff7, advent children, dirge of cerberus, books, wine, skittles… I'm kinda getting off topic. HOWEVER! I do own a vincent valentine action figure I bough in china town today. HA! suckers! ON WITH THE SHOW!

**Normal POV**

The first thing Yuffie did when she came out of the plane was kiss the ground.

"Oh!kiss Thank you!shmack Thank you Gawd! kiss Thank you Leviathan! smooch Praised be your twelve sons! smooch_(A/N: twelve? I'm just making this up) _May you be victor over all your battles! kiss smack smooch Bless your boots!numerous more kisses"

"I didn't know Leviathan wore boots. I'll have to check out the statue when I get back to Wutai!" Teased Reno, leaning his goggle like glasses down to rest on his nose _(A/N: its true! If you check out reno's pics from Advent Children, they're goggle like glasses.)_

"Yeah, I didn't know he had twelve sons either." Commented Yuffie, reflecting upon what exactly she had been muttering. Nonsense, as usual.

"We must leave. Bear in mind that Tifa was in labor." Vincent said.

" Oh good GAWSH! I almost forgot!" Yuffie said, jumping up off the ground and bolting in a random direction.

Vincent let out an exasperated sigh as he and Reno watched Yuffie's form recede in the distance.

"Don't Teef and Spikes kinda live thadda way." Said Reno pointing in the opposite direction from where Yuffie was running. Vincent nodded.

"Hey!"

Vince and Reno turned to see Vanessa standing behind them with multiple bags.

"You guys, know Tifa?" She asked inquisitively.

Both Reno and Vincent nodded.

"ME TOO!"

……

"Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's a small world aaaafter all, iiiiiiiiiiiit's a small world aaafter all! It's a small world after all." Yuffie chanted with absolutely NO enthusiasm.

While Vincent and Vanessa were staring at the very NOT happy Yuffie, Reno was gaping like a fish out of water.

'How on earth, did that scrawny little girl, cover that much ground in just a few seconds?! Mathematically it's impossible!' Reno contemplated.

Yet little did Reno know, what wonders rivalry could do .

Half an hour later

" Thank Leviatan! We're finally here!" Yuffie squealed as they arrived at the Strifes house.

Without even knocking Yuffie barged in on… the birthing. _(A/N:I dunno who gives birth on their front door, but come on!) _

"HOLY beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!!!!" _(A/N: may we preserve our children's innocence.)_

Twenty minutes after

"IT'S A GIRL!!!" Squealed a very hyper Yuffie.

"Congratulations." Vincent added.

"Yeah, congrats Teef, tough delivery!" Praised Reno as he looked at the newly exhausted mother, and proud father holding his beautiful new born daughter.

"Oh, Tifa I'm so happy for you." Said Vanessa. Vanessa had been one of Tifa's childhood friends, they grew up together. _(A/N: there ya go, that pretty much sums it up!)  
_  
Yuffie slapped Cloud's back, causing him to choke down an 'ow'.

"Well, well, aren't we the proud old pops." Chirped Yuffie. "So whatcha guys gonna name her?" Yuffie asked curiously.

Tifa looked at her husband and then to Yuffie with a look of embarrassment on her face.

"We… um… well… haven't… decided …yet."

"WHAT?" Cried Yuffie and Vanessa at the same time.

"Well, we always put it off. And well… when we finally did, we had just a few days left… have any suggestions anyone?"

Silence filled the room, and then idea sprung all at once.

"Larine!" "Carmon!" "Rebecca!" "Sally!" "Caden!" "Kayla!" "Caroline!" "Isabelle!" "Marie-Eve!" "Cloe!" "Claudia!" "Heidi!" "Emily!" "Esther!" "Vickie!" "Elsie!" "Veronica!" "YUFFIE!"

Silence fell over everyone, all eyes laying on the girl who made the comment.

"What?" She said sheepishly. "You can't get a name any hotter than that."

All groaned at Yuffie's comment, then Tifa spoke up.

"How about…." And she stopped in mid-sentence, still pondering over the idea.

"What?" Probed Cloud.

"Well… how about this; you all put your names in a hat , Cloud will pick, and whoever's name on the paper will name the baby."

Seeming to agree, Reno, Vanessa, and Yuffie scribbled their name on a piece of paper from…. Somewhere… and put it in a hat. Vincent caught Yuffie making 8 or nine copies of her name, and had her remove them from the hat. The hat was passed over to Cloud and he pulled out a name. At random, of course. He looked at it and read it aloud. It was…….

GASP! "YUFFIE!"

REGASP What a surprise! _(A/N: if you didn't totally see that coming miles away, I would suggest you stop reading this, go out in the sun, and fry yourself to a vegetable, …. Just kidding heh heh heh, don't flame me!)_

Yuffie put her index on her chin in thought. 'Humm… which one? Which one?' Then her face brightened as she got one. She inhaled whatever oxygen that was needed for her puny lungs and…

Everyone held their breath, hoping they would not have a Yuffie II the second on their hands.

"I shall name her…. Does this mean I get to be her Godmother?" inquired Yuffie at a very bad time.

Tifa;s eye twitched. "G-Godmother?"

"AW! Never mind, she shall be named……………………………………………………………………..Season!"

……

"Well I thought it was a nice name." Yuffie said sadly.

Tifa looked at Yuffie, then her husband, then her child. Wearily, she got up, walked to her spouse that was holding her girl. Smiled a beautiful smile and said to her.

"Hello Season. I'm your mommy."

And we shall now close the curtains on this happy event.  
_  
A/N: ya there ya go so now I hope ur glad that they're off the plane now. and by the way its NOT the end of the story. say_

_tell me if your name was one of the suggestions just curious _


	10. want to die yuffie?

_A/N: HELLOOOOOOOOO. I'm back with chapter 10! Aren't you peeps so happy I'm updating so often? Enjoy it while it lasts, I say. It ain't gonna stay dat way fo' long._

_DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own ff7, advent children, dirge of Cerberus, skittles, corner stores, _

_Story telling_

_"speech"_

_'thoughts'_

_"(sounds)"_

**Yuffie POV**

"YAWN."

Oy. This bed Teef and Cloudy let me sleep on smells like the pits. Man, I dunno when's the last time they aired out the mattress but it smells like MOTH BALLS!!!!! Not the nicest scent to fall asleep with.

IthinkIdreamtoflargemothseatingmyshoes, (GASP) whileIwastryingtoyankthebabyoutofTifa(INHALE) SomethinghappenedandIpulledtohardonthebaby'sheadandsheendedupwithsomesortofagiraffeneck (REBREATHE) Andthensomethin'wacko happenedandI'moldandgrey, stitchingsomething…. Orweavingorwhateveryoucallwhatthosegranny'sdo. AndthebabythatisnowagorwnwomanAndshewasabouttobeatmybrainsincuzIruinedher life. Herbeingcallednamesbykidsinherclassandallthatcrap(INHALE GASP REBRATHE) AIR!

Yeah I know, talk about a nightmare. And I guess I did ramble a bit. Even though I promised not to… Iy'm sowwy… ANYHOO!!!!!!! I have the weirdest craving for… SKITTLES!!!!!!!! SKITTLES! SKITTLES!SKITTLES ROCK!!!!!! M-must ha-have!

**Normal POV (in other words, MY pov)**

Vanessa was wiping the bar counter _(A/N: did I mention Tifa has a bar? Well guess what it's called:lol:) _ As I was saying, Vanessa was wiping the bar counter, usually Tifa was found doing this, but if you would recall, she gave birth the day before, so Vanessa said that she would replace her.

Vincent was leaning against the wall on a barstool, doing…. Whatever he does behind that cloak of his.

Reno could be found reading the… newspaper? I know what you're thinking. Reno? Reading the newspaper? Wouldn't he be reading I dunno… comic books or somethin'? For all you …. PEOPLE, yeah people, I shall not say retards, that will lose me my audience, Reno DID make in the Turks, so obviously he has to have something between those ears of his.

So yeah, Vanessa was looking at Vince, Vince was looking at… the wall. And the wall was looking at… wait a sec… and RENO was looking at his newspaper. All was silent and peaceful until… something could be heard falling down the stairs. Well, more like someone. Yep you guessed right, everyone looked over to see Yuffie crumpled on the floor, in front of the staircase. Face on the floor, butt in the air, legs tangled, she looked like a mess. She raised an arm, at an awkward angle and waved; "I'm okay."

Rolling their eyes, they went about their business. Yuffie picked herself off the floor and, crookedly, walked over to Vincent.

"Vinnie." She whined.

Vincent sighed. "Yes, Yuffie."

"I'm hungry." She said rubbing her sore bottom.

"Then feed yourself, I believe you are old enough." He stated plainly. Yuffie pouted at his rude comment but decided to ignore it.

"But I want skittles and there's no skittles here." She said, still in a whining voice.

"There is a convenient store down the street."

"But I dunno where it is will you come with me." Smiling as she said this.

"Why don't you ask Re-"

"I'm busy!" Quickly mentioned the Turk. Shuttering at the idea of going anywhere with the annoying ninja. Alone. It was Wutainian torture_ (A/N: get it? Wutainian-chinese tortu-:huff: fine. Don't laugh.) _

"…fine."

"!YAY!" And with that she grabbed Vince's arm and dragged him out of there.

**Vincent POV**

I do not believe I have seen someone eat candy that fast. She is practically inhaling the stuff. Now she has about a whole pack of skittles in her mouth, the smacking and chewing noises are attracting some people's attention, but they are none of my concern at the moment.

When we had entered the tiny shop, Yuffie right away dashed for the display of sweeties. She quickly grabbed about eight packs and put them on the counter. The cashier calculated the price and named it.

"What?! 9,75 GIL????? For a couple of packs of skittles????? ROBERY!!!!!!" Yuffie yelled, loud enough for other clients to hear. And those who heard this jumped at a chance to complain about the prices of… whatever they got. The cashier felt forced to deduct the price on the items, and she did.

So Yuffie and I left, her contently stuffing the skittles that she had shamelessly robbed from the poor woman.

"You know." She said, although muffled from the… stuff… she had in her mouth.  
(insert garbled language here, and chewing noises) "You should like, (smack, chew) stop with the whole brooding thing, (smock, squish) or people will think you're still moping over miss Lucreti-something."

"What makes you think I'm brooding?" I enquired. _(A/N: bad idea vinnie)_

"Well… (chew, smack, squish)… you're like… dead quiet. And you dress in like totally… dead clothes!"

"Dead. Clothes?" I questioned, cocking an eyebrow. Is there even such a thing as live clothes?

(finally swallowing what she had in her mouth she continued on her rambling)

"You wear your hair super long! You have this 'I could die tomorrow and I don't care!' look on your face! You wear a headband! Your skin is like dead white! You look like a vamp! You talk in encrypted English! YOU HAVE DOTS! MONSTER CLAW! YOU'RE SUICIDAL! YOU LOSE YOUR TEMPER! YOUR GUN! YOU TALK TO THE WALL! YOU CAN'T SMILE SO YOU CRINKLE YOUR NOSE INSTEAD! YOU WEAR BLACK SPANDEX! YOU'RE INTO THIS WHOLE 'HELL' OBSESSED THINGY! YOU'RE DEPRESSIVE! YOU'RE-"

I basically tuned out after the dots. She was on a sugar high, which meant rambling. Yet I noticed she had started swinging her arms in the air and… losing her balance.

**Yuffie POV**

This is basically when I impress myself. I am rambling yet my mind is free and I can think, but if I'm not careful, I could let myself slip and say something… bashful. Especially when Vincent is here.

WOAH! I am suddenly not! Feeling well! Uh, remind me not to run in circle screaming after eating four packs of skittles.

Gee. I wonder, is the ground supposed to be rushing up to my face?

Uh oh! I'm falling!

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" Funny, you know, when you're really scared it just seems as if you're suspended in air. Wait a sec…. Ah! I am suspended in air…

"Um…. Vinnie? Did you catch me?" I ask. Knowing he had to be my savior this time.  
What I didn't know was that Vinnie had aught me by the collar of my shirt, and my favorite green shirt no less, was now going under several stretching treatments.

And then, the worse thing that could ever to the GREAT NINJA YUFFIE happened.

"(RIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPP!!)"

_A/N: OOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Yuffie shirt just tore, IN PUBLIC! How embarrassing… I know how she feels, it happened to me 3 times, only… it was my pants not my shirt… I wonder which is worse… … … … … … … … … … … … … … …_

_ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell me what u think! If I do not get a least 1 review. There will be NO chapter 11. I hate threatening. However it may take a long time (unless you review NOW) but all those who have reviewed will be thanked by name in chapter 11._


	11. Eavesdropping

A/N: HELLO DEAR READERS! Sorry i haven't written in like.... a year! I blame the fact that i lost my password and my email password. But now i have it back and the words are on the road! I hope my humor hasn't changed. I guess we'll see!!!

Disclaimer: i don't own FF7, and other creations realated to FF7 i just own my plot!

Chapter 11: redemption.

**Yuffie POV**

_..._

_..._

_..._

_We all have wishes, i guess. Hopes, aspirations, things we hopes to accomplish in life, things to gain and experience that would inevitably make us wiser and better people. _

_And lying face down on the paved road shirtless is NOT ONE OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_Why do i feel the need to address this situation, i can ignore it! If i can concentrate long and hard enough this whole thing will just go away._

_................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ _

_well THAT didn't work. I wish i could just melt away into this pavement. ... well , maybe........._

_You know what? I blame Vincent for this! If i was gonna end up face down with gravel i'd rather do it with my shirt on!!! Well it is half on.... maybe if i roll over and walk with my back to every wall and surface, i may regain .0000000001% of my pride back. Where is that bloodsucker anyway. SO help me if he left me here on the sidewalk after PUTTING me in this situation. _

Suddenly a nice soft cape fluttered down landing gently on Yuffie's shoulders.

_Wha-?Ooo Hellooooooooooooooo. Is this Vinnie's cape? _

Lifting herself up off the pavement, Yuffie wrapped the cape around her shoulder, and stood. Bing only like 5'6 and Vincent Being 6'2, the crimson cape pooled at her feet. Turning her head left and right her eyes gazing the paved street, if there were some people she didn't notice them. But she couldn't see Vincent. Jerking her head sideways, she then felt something give at the back of her head. Something fell down her face, and so did her bangs.

"Wha-?" Yuffie muttered. Pulling the object from her face, looking at it in her palm it dawned on her it was her headband.

"Great!" she said to herself, rather loudly, "First I lose my shirt, scrape my forehead, and bust my favorite headband!" Yuffie stared angrily at the torn band, and also noticed the cape she clutched tightly in he fist to keep it around her shoulders. The image of Vincent popped in her head for a second and so did a wave of embarrassment. Grateful her hair hung in her face she scampered between two buildings. She leaned against the wall and rested her face in her hands, feelings her burning hot cheeks in her cool fingers.

" Ooooh, GAWD! Why did it have to be him??!!" She muttered in her hands, "At least if it was anyone else they'd have laughed, heck! Even Spikes would have! AH! I'm such a freak! Idiot! Yuffie, idiot! Idiot! Stupid Stupid!"

Maybe its was because she paused from banging her fists against her forehead that she hear the voices of someone speaking of killing in an open window two floors above her. Yuffie snapped her head in that direction, narrowed her eyes. Standing up, and closing the clasps of the cape so she didn't have to hold it together. She silently ran alongside the building until she found a drain pipe that lead to the roof. Grabbing hold of it she climbed up until she was at the same level of the building.

_Whew, its a good thing i don't weigh all that much, or this thing couldn't support me! _Yuffie though while yanking on the pipe just to be sure it could hold her. Then Yuffie quieted her breathing so she could hear the voices.

"-gaining their trust." A males voice spoke, sort of raspy and broken.

"I believe so." A female fluid voice spoke

"It is **crucial **that he is alone before you take action." The man emphasised.

"I know." The woman said in a slightly annoyed tone. "It will be difficult; he is rather, private when it comes to emotion."

Yuffie frowned. _What the heck does that have to do with anything?_

"And there is a child." She added.

"What?!" The man said in a hushed surprise. "That complicates things. How old?"

"A day."

Yuffie muffled her gasp. _They're talking about Season!_

"Do you think he will be with it often?" the man asked.

"Doesn't seem the type" She said.

_V-Vincent!_

The sudden whizzing sound of a bullet caused Yuffie to jerk on the pipe. The second the sound of the pipe detaching from the wall, occurred at the exact moment the woman yelled in pain from the bullet shot.

_Silencer._ Yuffie though as she quickly scampered onto the roof. Fleeing the scene.

_Crap!Crap! Crap! Did i hear what o thought I heard? Was that a plot to kill Vincent! No Yufie, they could have been talking about anyone. So just shut up about it. What are you thinking! If they're planning on killing someone you have to tell someone! Hang on! There is only one newborn in Nibelheilm. Right? OH GAWD what do i doooo????_

The hooded man, kept his gun in reach as he helped the hooded woman standing.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"I'll live." She answered as she stood clutching her wound. "Did you see who it was."

"I thought i saw.... a red cape."

"Blast! That could only mean Vincent Valantine."

_A/N: Taaaa daaaah!!!!!! Sooo how was it? Confusing? Boring? A letdown? Great? Heavenly? The Best Piece of Lit Ever Written?_

_Let me know! =D_


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